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I Saw the Awful Light In the Shadows of Joy

by Dee Dee Sea

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $11 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    pressed on beautiful black wax, a record long time coming. I'm only pressing a limited amount of these so don't wait!

    THIS IS A PRE-ORDER for the PHYSICAL WAX PLATTER!

    (Vinyl is really backed up but when it gets here you'll get it! Until then enjoy the digital version.)

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Saw the Awful Light In the Shadows of Joy via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days
    edition of 100 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $13.47 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    THIS IS A PRE-ORDER.
    It should ship in JANUARY 2022.
    Those who know me from my tramping past know that I often traveled with my boombox, 'Boomy'. I recorded albums and shows and had many street dance partys. I love tapes!
    HERE IS YOUR CHANCE to own a DEE DEE SEA album PROFESSIONALLY produced and packaged with the full new album in a durable analog package.
    Fold out liner for mini poster!
    Comes with DOWNLOAD of full album.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Saw the Awful Light In the Shadows of Joy via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days
    edition of 47 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5.47 USD or more 

     

1.
*COLD COLD METAL* She took the pin and pressed it hard Into my skin, felt like living She said “I don’t think it likes living there, That pin in your ear” I said “I know it but it fills a hole, it fills a hole” cold cold metal, cold cold metal cold, cold, cold cold metal… She took the pin and pressed it hard I stopped in devil town I was shaking like a dog shitting peach pits I said “wish I’d been better” “don’t think it likes living there” “wish I’d been better” “don’t think it likes living there, That pin in your ear, that pin in your ear” cold cold metal, cold cold metal cold, cold, cold cold metal… She took the pin and pressed it hard Into my skin felt like living “that pin in your ear, that pin in your ear” cold cold metal, cold cold metal cold, cold, cold cold metal…
2.
*MORNING LIGHT* Was it blue or was it black velvet in the night Under the overpass, in the blinking lights of the cinema Oh Montana, of my youth… in the morning light…light…light and I always had enough ya I always had too much and the sun is coming up in the morning and I know something good has got to happen I don’t know when I just know it ain’t happened yet And who was that? Who’s heel just disappeared Into the back of a ’68 Wildcat Did I walk away? Did they walk away? Why couldn’t I just stay perfect like that? in the morning light…light…light and I always had enough ya I always had too much and the sun is coming up in the morning and I know something good has got to happen I don’t know when I just know it ain’t happened yet …I was always sneaking out in the middle of amerika Rattlesnakes and the new moon and the stars they turn into That light you know so well light!…ooooooo…light!…ooooooo… There is dew on the newspaper stand in the morning You check the date, you check for your face And you walk on, try not to look back You can’t help but wonder, years from now, who walked away? Was it me or was it them? Was it me or was it them? You can’t help but wonder, years from now, who walked away? Was it me or was it them? Was it me or was it them? in the morning light…light…light…light! and the sun is coming up…
3.
*GOODBYE OLD FRIEND* Hello my old friend, many pages have fallen To the floor, uh huh Lets get together talk of the old times uh huh The bad things we done, you had me as the sun Came up… and you screamed out your cum I wasn’t done, you were done and I wondered, “is this how it’s done?” I lost in love and now this…? and now this A bad version of love, it’s strange And come undone I remember it all too well but my mind It takes it’s time, and runs away Down the motel hall, chasing me, I see It looking back… I’ve been lost in time through many doors, I’ve crossed the line unlocking too many doors too many to sleep in along the way… and now this I was always sneaking out in the morning Looking back once more as I close the door, Don’t look back. Afraid if I stay too long This room would be my last… sometimes I found a bed made down but I was wound up around and sometimes it was enough but you know I always had too much… and now this So goodbye my old friend many pages have fallen, um hum Let’s set them up one last time, Knock them down and I’ll leave Not looking back… I am gone and the sun is coming up and now this…
4.
*CHELSEA QUEEN* Now it’s cresting, I think I see the light It’s more like darkness, hold on to me Chelsea Queen The mouth of your bed, the lace of your tongue The mask overhead, the watcher above Tucked into your robes in the afternoon You surprised me in the museum Over a dainty cup, your bold horse face Your longing eye… Out the window feel the breeze Hear the bellows so low so deep A breathy whisper, Chelsea queen Lovers entangled in the tombstones too many… Now it’s cresting, I think I see the light It’s more like darkness, hold on to me… An old tattoo, a star, a cane Your old paintbrushes are stiff and stained Throw ‘em out the window, feel the breeze Hear the bellows so low, so deep… Woof! Now it’s cresting, I think I see the light It’s more like darkness, hold on to me… You both loved up there, a young poet’s Sheets flowered and wrinkled The bed it looked like a cage to keep in Or keep out. The shining mirror, The ghostly slippers under your bed And your children will lie down On the flowers you left there… I think I see the light…
5.
*Sneaking Out With What Is Left (in the morning)* …the taste of blood when someone bites your lip and you can feel it but you can’t remember it now so you’re sneaking out with what is left in the morning Something smoldering on top of the table I woke up under and a kiss last night I can feel it but I don’t remember it now…so I’m sneaking out with what is left in the morning Who was the boy, who was the girl I woke up in-between in that flat overlooking the square… the name of it i don’t remember it now…so I’m sneaking out with what is left in the morning It was a private party under the city and the pills at the bottom of the glass looked like the cobblestones in the street, leading me down to the party below. And I could feel it coming on as I walked on …and then you wake up in the morning rattlesnakes, stars, sneak out in the morning it’s gunna haunt you, yeah it’s gunna haunt you it’s gunna haunt you, it’s gunna haunt you… I can feel the cobblestones coming on and I’m dancing On my own and I can feel…everything…and there’s someone coming over to me, the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen and now they’re dancing with me and they lean into me and they come in for the kiss and I close my eyes And I can feel it…ah…everywhere… and everything…and I open my eyes and they’re gone. So I run up to the street and I see their heel disappear into the back of a ’68 WILDCAT and it takes off into the night… In the blinking lights of the cinema. Oh Montana, oh my youth, oh Montana, oh my youth …and then you wake up in the morning rattlesnakes, stars, sneak out in the morning it’s gunna haunt you, yeah it’s gunna haunt you it’s gunna haunt you, it’s gunna haunt you…
6.
*The Devil’s Cinema* The devil heard this song he told me it was right We danced beneath the dome and then we start to fight, he said it’s over now, things will never go back… Every day I wake up laughing beneath the flames, this place it sucks you dry, our dreams became the same, he said it’s over now, things will never go back… Oh oh, my darling, we were here first oh oh, my darling, we heard ya knocking at the door, devil knocking at the door… Time does not exist, we live inside our beds Sleep forever girl, it makes you lose your head he said it’s over now, things will never go back…I love you all so much, I kiss you in my sleep Dust makes you appreciate the things you wanna keep, he said it’s over now, things will never go back… Oh oh, my darling, we were here first oh oh, my darling, we heard them knocking at the door, knock knock knock knock… I met him on the roof, he said he’d had enough His eyes were black and red, he stamped his foot and raised a cloud of dust, things will never go back…you’ve had your fun my kids, the shaking floor was real, project your fantasies cause there’s nothing left to feel, he said it’s over now, things will never go back… the crack it widened and I pushed him down the hole, sparks flew up, dust fell down and the sound…was terrible, things will never go back… My friends were down below playing music in the night, one looked up and saw the awful light, I screamed IT’S OVER NOW

about

The album is full of coming up and desperate pleasures of night,
coming down and the blinking lights of youth fading in your memory,
the sandy sleeping bag filled with yesterdays poems
and the teeth marks from a wacked out lover
on the dance floor of the rings of Saturn.

Seahorn is pulling hand over hand the shredded rags
of his disastrous international party boy days,
stuffing them into his old backpack
and tossing it as it overflows into the surf,
he becomes a ghost of morning, yelling
"hell, my old friend, it's over now!

Recorded with only solar power in a timber framed home called "muscle & pluck forever!", the studio inside of the pine "pluck" is called "little seasaint". Located in the woods of Maine on Heartbreak Hill, little seasaint is an homage to seahorn's great-uncle Marshall Sehorn and Allen Toussaint's studio in New Orleans (now a beauty shop). Although The Meters are not the in house band, the 'uh, yes we can can' vibe is a shared vision.

This, Seahorn's first released recordings in many years was played and sung all by his lonesome over a year or two (not so good with chronological time). After being (intensionally) rootless/houseless for ten years touring with The Missoula Oblongata, a diy punk theater group and then years spent doing odd things in London and New Orleans, seahorn decided it was time to be a woodsy hermit and stopped putting out an album a year like he had been and to instead learn to fell the pines, mill them with a chainsaw, shape them with chisels and fit them together with tree nail pegs before he would allow himself to record another album. Well, the homemade studio is built and now so is it's first Birth!
YOU CAN FEEEEEEEEEEEEL IT!!

ALL SONGS WRITTEN BY SEAHORN
EXCEPT "THE DEVIL'S CINEMA" WRITTEN BY LILY BARSON

"THE DEVIL'S CINEMA" also has a sample from the film "Morning Dew" (ask me about this)

credits

released December 12, 2021

all the instruments are played by seahorn
The Devil's Cinema was written by Lily Barson and contains a sample from the soundtrack to the film "Morning Dew" (which seahorn was in)

Dee Dee Sea crept from the bedroom to the underground scene of Montana as a youth quickly gaining a devoted following. Soon Dee Dee was opening gigs for folks like Magnolia Electric Co., Bill Callahan, Califone, C.J. Boyd, LAKE, Karl Blau, Your Heart Breaks, Jason Webley, Typhoon, Thao & The Get Down Stay Down and many others. After many years of touring with the Missoula Oblangata, a punk theater group and years abroad as an artistic international party boy, Dee Dee sunk into the swamp of New Orleans. No one heard anything for awhile... Now Dee Dee Sea has been tracked down in the woods of Maine in a homemade timber framed studio completely off the grid. The new album, I Saw the Awful Light In the Shadows of Joy is the first offering from the outsider multi-instrumentalist. Recorded entirely with sun power, all alone, this album reeks of slowness, of sand in the sheets, of lusty hangovers, of release and of looking back through the bottom of the wine bottle drank on the beaches of the world. The desperate pleasures told within weave in and out of consciousness and somehow drift up river to the mountains peak and sink deep into the earth...

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about

Dee Dee Sea montana

a relic of the past,
seahorn or Dee Dee is back with an album after many years in hiding.
after opening for the likes of Magnolia Electric Co., Bill Callahan, Your Heart Breaks, Tyhoon, Karl Blau and many others, sea hit the road performing with the Missoula Oblongata theater company for a few years.
sea then spent some tramping years abroad and in the squalor of New Orleans.
and now this. xoox
... more

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